Today is our last installment of Audrey from The Bella Bambino’s guest posts. So bittersweet and so thankful for you Audrey! She gets personal again and as you read, you’ll realize this should be part of the script from the recent Bridesmaids movie!
MOH Confessions
The MOH. The Maid of Honor. The chief bridesmaid. The Bachelorette Party Organizer. The Bridal Shower Planner…. The one who is going to hold your dress up so you can pee… THAT’S ME!!! My cousin and best friend is getting married and true to the pact we made as wee tots to be each other’s MOH’s; I am to be her MOH.
This is a role that actually carries a lot of pressure. These are my confessions (did you hear the Usher song in the background?)
1. Will my speech at the wedding be memorable or are you going to think it’s lame and overly sentimental? Let’s face it- when I heard you got engaged I blubbered like a baby out of pride and excitement.( I promise not to tell anyone about any of our wild times or include embarrassing photos in our photo montage.)
2. Is it wrong that when you told me you wanted an outdoors/chic/country wedding, I nearly had a panic attack worrying that you’ll ask me to wear cowboy boots and I’ll have to pretend to be excited? Ok… the boots I can take but what if you ask me to wear a hat too? That .Will. Kill. Me- like seriously!
3. It’s a year away but… what if you turn into a bridezilla? OMG- I’ll be popping Xanax like candy!
4. Is it wrong that I want to grill your fiancé (while I actually really think he’s a great guy) but still want to put the fear of God into him- that you mean the world to me and if he hurts you…
I. WILL. Hurt. Him.
5.
If I take you to Vegas for your Bachelorette party, the family will rip me a new one for corrupting you and our other cousins… what the heck am I going to do that’s still a blast? If we do a bridal party pin up shoot with RetroDolls, is that creative enough?
6. While I am so happy for you, I am already sick of the comments our aunts make about the fact that I’m the older one and I’m not married. I also am over the little side quips about “maybe you’ll meet someone at the wedding?” – did we forget that I already have a man-friend? What if when you select the bridal party dresses, it’s a style that shows my tattoos and I’ll have to actually admit to grandma that I am secretly covered in ink in places I’m not supposed to be? I’m in New York and you’re in CA, what if I can’t fly home often enough and you think I let you down as the best MOH ever? I get that you’re “sister in law to be” was being nice by giving you the bridal/wedding planner/organizer but I felt like she was infringing on my MOH duties- I am competitive. I will out do her, all day, every day, and show her what a real MOH does.! (Who dat? Grunt and fist pumping just occurred.)
7. Lastly, I realize that you are probably going to play country music during your reception. My “I am enjoying it- this music is great” face is going to be fake. I am so not a country fan but because it’s your big day- I am going to be the best person in the line dance (if you have that…please don’t).
I wonder if her cousin will read this!? I bet a lot of you out there can relate to her when you’ve been asked to be a maid of honor. It’s a huge honor but it also comes with a lot of responsibility! I’ve gotten a few phone calls from the maid of honors of a couple of my brides asking me what exactly are their duties. I’d list the them here but then you might get overwhelmed. Check them out here at The Knot.
Leave a Reply